The workday that sticks in my mind most vividly is the day a team member confided in me that her husband beats her. When you receive a tap on the shoulder in the office and a request for a chat, you’re simply not prepared for that kind of conversation.
My team member sat in a pokey, windowless meeting room and described how her husband frequently punched, slapped, pushed and kicked her when the kids were in bed. Any small thing that she did or said could result in his violent outbursts and uncontrollable rage. Her children had been unaware of the abuse until her eldest son recently witnessed a beating.
I’d met her husband previously. He was diminutive, friendly and seemed generous and welcoming. I’d actually liked him.
She explained that her numerous absences from work had not been due to her ill-health or because the kids were sick, but rather that she didn’t want to show up at work with black eyes and bruises on her arms.
Hearing that my kind, compassionate, beautiful, professional, funny, gentle, quiet and unassuming colleague was being beaten by the man she loved was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced. I was consumed with anger. I wanted to cry. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to take her away from the situation. I wanted to confront him. I wanted to comfort her. I just wanted to help her in any way I could, but the overriding feeling was helplessness.
During our meeting I listened, I sympathised, I urged her to leave him, and I encouraged her to take as much leave as she needed. In the days that followed I gave her contact details for helplines and charities and defended her prolonged absences to colleagues. In the subsequent months I checked on her regularly and provided career mentoring, encouraging her to take a higher paid job elsewhere so that she could become financially independent and leave him.
I don’t know if I did a good job as her Manager, and I don’t know if I should have done more. What I do know is that the organisation I worked for could have made it easier for me to help her. Best practice employers are helping their employees in a variety of ways:
Providing domestic violence leave. My team member needed a lot of leave. Speaking to solicitors, organising alternative accommodation, seeing a counsellor and putting the children into new schools all takes time. It wasn’t through choice, it wasn’t a holiday, she didn’t want to take it, but she did need time. I prefer the idea of ‘Extenuating Circumstances Leave’. We’re all going to have a personal crisis at some point, and employers can recognise and support us through that.
Providing training for managers. Team members may approach their managers with a range of problems affecting their performance in the workplace. Managers don’t need standalone training on dealing with those issues, but it can be provided as part of general management training.
Having a workplace counsellor. Providing details of a company-funded workplace counsellor that employees can access in confidence.
Offering short-term flexible work options. As employees work through difficult times they may need to adjust their work arrangements. Flexible work hours, a compressed week or part-time working might help them through it.
Providing contact details for sources of support. Listing helplines on the Intranet that assist with a range of issues. Providing details of local women’s shelters.
Implementing the Male Champions of Change Workplace Response to Domestic and Family Violence http://malechampionsofchange.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Playing-Our-Part-Male-Champions-of-Change-Letter.pdf
Getting White Ribbon Australia Workplace Accreditation. Demonstrating to the employees that the organisation is committed to preventing and responding to violence against women. http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/workplaces.
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Dr Nicole Richardson is a Director of Engaged Group, helping businesses and schools become more sustainable and inclusive. Engaged Group provides consulting services, workshops, research and recommended suppliers to enable organisations to move forward positively. Contact Engaged Group to find out how we can help you.
www.engagedgroup.com.au
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